Kaymer Wins, but Is the US Open Too Hard for Anyone to Enjoy It?

By
at Internationaled.org

Published: June 15, 2014

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No normal person would play the U.S. Open for fun. The courses, most of them golfable on a normal day (Oakmont being the exception), are riddled with booby traps at every step over the 7,500-yard walk. Players giving their all are like Wile E. Coyote chasing a roadrunner of a trophy ducking explosions and avoiding the cliffs of doom.

Regular humans would quit after 12-putting a couple of Donald Ross upside-down, saucer greens. We would call for rakes and gardening implements after landing in six inches of pine straw. We’d want chainsaws if behind a loblolly pine. We would Tommy Bolt whirlybird club toss in anger and be left with an empty bag before getting through the front nine.

And did you see the wicked twinkle in USGA Executive Director Mike Davis’ eyes when he lovingly described pin positions and the condition of the golf course for Sunday? He would typically have said things like fair and firm, not an actual description which would have been impossible and like concrete.

The USGA, you see, lies in wait until an unsuspecting golfer has teed off and then drops unplayable lie anvils to see who gets hit by them. It has hidden catapults and trampolines in the greens to rocket balls in every which direction once the ball has touched a putting surfaces. It’s a wonder the USGA doesn’t make everyone tee off with exploding golf balls.  

The note sheet on Sunday for course set-up said the greens were running at 12.5 on the USGA Stimpmeter, the instrument used to determine green speed. What they didn’t say is that the USGA Stimpmeter is coated with maple syrup to slow it down. The real green speed is actually a 45 on any regular Stimpmeter.

The same sheet said water was applied to all greens Saturday night and Sunday morning. “We expect firmness,” the quote sheet said. Translation: We tested the greens and found a ball that lands on them will carom into the next coun...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Golf

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