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What Tiger Woods’ Speech Should Have Been
Published: February 20, 2010
He needed to be honest, not necessarily to the American people, but more to himself, and Friday was not that at all. Had I been his speech writer, I would have provided a much more realistic, soul-cleansing appearance that showcased the real Tiger Woods.
"Good morning. I am here this morning to apologize. I apologize that I got caught.
"With Elin's family in town around Thanksgiving, and with the smells of apple and cherry pies baking, I lost my mind. I got sloppy and made mistakes I would never make on the golf course.
"On the voice mail that made the rounds, I meant to say that I was Sergio, but got screwed up when I was dishing up a bowl of Frosted Flakes.
"Rumors have went around about Thanksgiving night, false, hurtful rumors that put Elin in a bad light. Although she was angry when she found out I was cheating, she did not hit me. My mom did. (Quietly) Go with me mom.
"I deserved it too, because I had ruined Thanksgiving with my thoughts of stuffing and open wide baked potatoes.
"My mom was furious and took out the Escalade windows and made me crash into the tree, because I was so stunned by her actions. My mom is a beautiful caring woman, and gave me the butt whooping I deserved, looking back at the events of the night.
"Ever since that night, I've just wanted to get away and deal with a simple fact, I, Tiger Woods, am a sex addict.
"I thought I could handle marriage, and found a gorgeous, loving bride in Elin. We fostered two fantastic children, who I love with all of my heart. Yet my time on the tour taught me something incredibly valuable about me and marriage.
"I love playing Augusta, but I also love Pebble Beach, and Bethpage, Medinah, and St. Andrews, and man...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Golf
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