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Tiger Woods Reveals Details of His Shocking Divorce (Satire)
Published: July 13, 2010
Under the gaze of the entire sporting media, Woods, in a refreshingly honest and open press conference, announced the details of his separation.
Speaking for the first time in England since news of his extra-marital affairs broke, the world No. 1 was uncharacteristically accommodating towards the journalist's pencil.
Do journalists even own pencils anymore?
I miss pencils.
About his decision to separate, Woods conceded, "I've always experimented...throughout the years."
This, of course, does not come as any surprise. In February of this year, Woods came out of hiding and delivered a televised speech from PGA Headquarters in Florida.
Staring down his detractors, like only Tiger can do, he admitted to cheating on his wife Elin, and that he regretted his actions.
He also mentioned something about Buddhism. But even Woods himself does not remember what that was.
Or indeed does the speechwriter himself.
Or herself. I hate sexism.
Since returning from golf, Woods is without a win in six starts. Somehow though, despite struggling to find a swing remotely on plane, he has managed two Top Five finishes in the season's major championships.
His golfing performance has, however, taken a backseat to his new-found playboy image. IMG is credited with building up Tiger's family man persona, but this far more interesting persona is all the Great One's doing.
He has, true to fashion, been extremely tight-lipped about his personal life since.
That was, of course, until today's candid few moments.
When asked about whether the separation has affected his preparation for the great tournament, Woods remarked...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Golf
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