Tiger Woods Reveals Details of His Shocking Divorce (Satire)

By
at Internationaled.org

Published: July 13, 2010

commentComment        

In what could prove to be the most significant event of 2010, Tiger Woods has finally discarded the veil which he has used to shield himself from the world.

Under the gaze of the entire sporting media, Woods, in a refreshingly honest and open press conference, announced the details of his separation.

Speaking for the first time in England since news of his extra-marital affairs broke, the world No. 1 was uncharacteristically accommodating towards the journalist's pencil.

Do journalists even own pencils anymore?  

I miss pencils.

About his decision to separate, Woods conceded, "I've always experimented...throughout the years." 

This, of course, does not come as any surprise.  In February of this year, Woods came out of hiding and delivered a televised speech from PGA Headquarters in Florida.  

Staring down his detractors, like only Tiger can do, he admitted to cheating on his wife Elin, and that he regretted his actions.

He also mentioned something about Buddhism.  But even Woods himself does not remember what that was.

Or indeed does the speechwriter himself.

Or herself. I hate sexism.

Since returning from golf, Woods is without a win in six starts.  Somehow though, despite struggling to find a swing remotely on plane, he has managed two Top Five finishes in the season's major championships.  

His golfing performance has, however, taken a backseat to his new-found playboy image. IMG is credited with building up Tiger's family man persona, but this far more interesting persona is all the Great One's doing.

He has, true to fashion, been extremely tight-lipped about his personal life since.

That was, of course, until today's candid few moments.

When asked about whether the separation has affected his preparation for the great tournament, Woods remarked...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Golf

Latest News


Comments

Comments are closed.

Sponsors

Bruins Tickets The Boston Bruins are a professional ice hockey team based in Boston, Massachusetts. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

Red Wings Tickets The Detroit Red Wings are a professional ice hockey team based in Detroit, Michigan. They are members of the Central Division of the Western Conference of the National Hockey League.

Penguins Tickets The Pittsburgh Penguins are a professional ice hockey team based in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. They are members of the Atlantic Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

New York Rangers Tickets play their home games at Madison Square Garden, they are one of the oldest teams in the NHL, having joined in 1926 as an expansion franchise, and are part of the group of teams referred to as the Original Six.

San Jose Sharks Tickets The San Jose Sharks are a professional ice hockey team based in San Jose, California, United States.

Toronto Maple Leafs Tickets The Toronto Maple Leafs are a professional ice hockey team based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

New Jersey Devils Tickets The New Jersey Devils are a professional ice hockey team based in Newark, New Jersey. They are members of the Atlantic Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League.

Washington Capitals Tickets The Washington Capitals are a professional ice hockey team based in Washington, D.C.

Buffalo Sabres Tickets The Buffalo Sabres are a professional ice hockey team based in Buffalo, New York. They are members of the Northeast Division of the Eastern Conference of the National Hockey League. Get the Sabres and all of your NHL Tickets here.

NASCAR season is on of the most attended sports in the world. NASCAR Tickets to the best tracks is a must every year. Some of these tracks are: Talladega Tickets, Lowes Motor Speedway Tickets, Pocono Raceway Tickets, located in Ridgeway Virginia you have Martinsville Speedway Tickets and southern US you have two of the most popular Atlanta Motor Speedway Tickets and Texas Motor Speedway Tickets. Don't miss all the racing events this year!

Boston Red Sox Tickets The Boston Red Sox are a member of the Major League Baseball’s American League Eastern Division. Since 1912, the Red Sox's home ballpark has been Fenway Park. This is one of the hottest MLB Tickets sales of any team in the major league.

New York Yankees Tickets The New York Yankees are a professional baseball team based in the borough of the Bronx, in New York City, New York and are a member of Major League Baseball's American League East Division. Get tickets to one of the hottest games of the season Yankees Red Sox Tickets.

Chicago Cubs Tickets The Chicago Cubs are an American professional baseball team based in Chicago, Illinois. They are members of the Central Division of Major League Baseball's National League.

Phillies Tickets The Philadelphia Phillies are a Major League Baseball team based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. They are the oldest continuous, one-name, one-city franchise in all of professional American sports, dating to 1883.

Orioles Tickets The Baltimore Orioles are a professional baseball team based in Baltimore, Maryland.

Do you love wrestling? Get your WWE Tickets and WWE Survivor Series Tickets today!