Rafael Nadal vs. Roger Federer: The Fan Wars, Episode One…Rise of the Clones

By
at Internationaled.org

Published: November 22, 2010

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Satire

Breaking News: The ever-escalating Roger Federer versus Rafael Nadal fan wars rage on.

The mercury core on the verbal abuse thermometer threatens to burst.

The High Lords of Tennis Land issued demands to spare no quarter in perpetuating the current sturm und drang of tennis mania that continually generate controversial headlines in the international media.

The eye of the storm centers on the raging controversy over who is better—Rafa or Roger?

As a result of the spike in popularity of tennis since the wars began, creation of a series of “Rafa-Roger” clones were given top priority by tennis authorities at a recent meeting in Geneva, according to our sources.

All requisite body parts have been carefully measured for exact replication.

Those eye-popping statistics are being sealed in a lead-lined vault to ensure complete secrecy.

Any hint of those factoids would blow the lid on the whole “who's better” debate and render one party entirely null and void.  

Rabid fans on either side of the controversy continually scream and bombard each other with vile, often infantile remarks accented with equally obscene gestures.

The parties war over every move on and off court as well as every word spoken, hoping to embellish the perspective that their favored player—Rafa or Roger—is better, kinder, sweeter and more humble.

What is more “he” is the only tennis player worthy of world-wide adulation.  

According to both sides in this court-side war, there is room for only one champion, which means total abjuration of the other.

A positive word for one player automatically means a negative for the other—yin and yang, black and white, up or down.

It has been rumored that the birth of this melee came about as Bjorn Borg favored one player, then the other as Federer, then Nadal...
Article Source: Bleacher Report - Tennis

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